Several years ago I had to have a hysterectomy. The morning of the surgery my husband drove me to the hospital, I’d donned a hair net and a sterile gown with a big ole butt flap (Can someone tell me why it’s okay that my rear has air conditioning and my head has to be covered?!) and was put into a bed to wait for the surgeons. I remember my husband holding my hand and my mother-in-law bringing me a beautiful red throw adorned with cherubs. I remember the fear in my husband’s eyes and the concern on my mother-in-law’s face. I remember the nurses came in and took me to the operating room. I remember they were joking around and made me feel very comfortable. I remember they said to look at the clock and count to one hundred. I don’t remember how far I got until I was under.
I also remember that I woke up during surgery.
Yes, you read that right, I woke up. When I say “woke” I mean that I became conscious. I could hear what was going on in the room. I could hear the doctors and nurses talking. I could hear the tinkling of the utensils as they lifted them from the tray. I could sense movement all around me. I could feel pain. I was afraid. I was awake! But I could not open my eyes. For what felt like several minutes but was probably only seconds I began trying desperately to make those in the room aware of my condition, of my consciousness. “Open your eyes!” I told myself as I tried fiercely to open them. When I realized that I couldn’t move my eye lids I decided to try to speak. I was unable to move my lips. Maybe my nose? No, that didn’t work either. My hands! Yes! I would try to move my hands! Oh no, I couldn’t even get a finger to move. My toes? My feet? No, no, no! I was helpless and trapped with no way of communicating. No one could hear me. And as I said those very words to myself one name came to me in a flash. Jesus! He can hear me! Oh what a profound realization! As soon as I began to pray He immediately took away my fear and replaced it with peace. He cradled me in His loving arms and put me back to sleep.
Dear sister, I share this story with you so that you can learn what I learned that day. I woke up in ICU after surgery. There had been complications, I’d lost blood and they’d had to take me off the anesthesia because it causes low blood pressure. It had been part of life saving measures. But it had taught me something about myself. I felt like God had truly impressed this upon my heart; my first instinct had not been to go to Him!
When life is overwhelming, when your burdens are heavy, when suddenly you are in the midst of a trial, when it’s dark and you feel like you can’t move, when the messy things in life are too much to bear alone, who do you call out to? Do you try to move the burden alone? Is your first instinct to call your bff? Your mom? Your sister? Yourself? Christ wants to be that to you. He wants to be your first choice. He loves you so much that he died in your place and He wants you to choose Him (Luke 10:42), to rely on Him (I Peter 5:7), to rest in Him (Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest Matt. 11:28), to call out to Him (For whosoever calleth upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13), to seek Him (Seek ye the Lord while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is near Is. 55:6).
He wants you to come to Him first in everything; when you are anxious (Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Phil. 4:6 ESV), when you are poor and needy (Bow down thine ear, O Lord, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Ps. 86:1), when you are destitute ( He will regard the prayer of the destitute,.. Psalm 102:17a), when you are low (I called upon thy name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. Lam. 3:55) and even when you are happy (Phil. 3:3, Rejoice in the Lord alway and again I say rejoice. Phil. 4:4)
Take a moment and think about it. When stuff happens, and it inevitably does! What is your first instinct, your first response? Who do you call upon? We cannot rely on our own strength or even the feeble shoulders of a friend because we humans are not designed to carry the burdens that only a Holy and Righteous God can deliver us from!
For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Psalm 86:5
Start training yourself today! Pray when you wake up and thank Him for rest (Ps. 127:2, Prov. 3:24). Pray when you eat. Pray while you are driving. Pray while you are doing the dishes. Pray before bed. Beloved, pray without ceasing (I Thes. 5:17) The next thing you know you’ll be in a conversation with the Saviour all day long. How sweet! You will find that burdens aren’t sneaking up on you because He is the first thing on your lips in the morning and the last thing on your lips at night!
Now, who ya gonna call? I hope that HE is your answer!